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Terrible Twos Are The Worst!

Ok so I admit it. I was spoiled big time by my first child. Madison never went through a "terrible twos" phase. Boy am I ever grateful for that right now! I'm not sure if I would have been up for having another kid in my thirties if I knew how bad this phase could be. I definitely can use the phrase "I am too old for this shit" (forgive my language but you will see why it fits).


My youngest, Emma, has the energy of a peewee football team on steroids. I wish I was joking but no I'm completely serious. For instance just yesterday I was making a tshirt for her that says 'Terrible Twos: nailed it.' Before I finished weeding out the words I feel something hard whack me in the temple and it really hurt too. She had decided she wanted to throw one of our movie night plastic popcorn cups at my head. I found this incredibly ironic and fitting considering the shirt I was making her. But that is just the tip of the iceberg of what this tasmanian devil of a child does on a daily basis. And have I mentioned that she has only been two years old for two months?! Needless to say I am frightened that at minimum this will continue and most likely become worse over the next ten months.


According to my parents and other family members I went through the terrible twos but as they put it; it extended into my threes. The stories always end with: but after that I was a great kid that they never had to worry about. To them it was as if I decided to just get all of the attitude and craziness out of my system from two years to three years. Then I came out the other end by age four to be the kid every parent wished they could have. I know that might sound like an exaggeration but it really isn't. My husband found out exactly how much of an angel and goody two shoes I was at my 20th High School Reunion where person after person would proceed to tell him how nice and sweet and a goody good I was. Needless to say I'm praying that Emma does the same for me. The only difference between with how my parents say I was during this time and the way that Emma is, which I'm finding to be a HUGE difference, is that I was only terrible in public. Apparently I only wanted to cause a scene in front of strangers but at home I was cool. Emma on the other hand does not discriminate between going berserk at home or in public. She will scream, stomp, kick, throw, or all of the above at once no matter where she is.


To her credit at least I can say that all her antics and hostility are not solely placed on me. We all have our times to feel her wrath. If you happen to be in her path when she decides to throw a tantrum then unfortunately you are the unlucky recipient of whatever she decides to do at that time. I can say with a smile though that I have learned that: 1. My tantrums were never violent and mostly leaned to the throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming variety, 2. That I have learned that not only was my husband apparently into everything and threw fits at this age but also that my stepson was a thrower and biter. So I am happy to know that the violent streak has nothing to do with my DNA at least. Now the kicking and screaming I am unfortunately busted. That's me.


For a lot of my life I have been one of those people unlucky enough to bruise like a peach at the smallest bumps or taps. There are many times when I am asked "Where did you get that terrible bruise?!" and laugh as I reply that I have no idea. So my husband has always made it a joke when we are around friends and I have a big ol' bruise that he always has to be on guard to ensure that they know he didn't cause it. Now it's even funnier because we have to say "No I didn't bump into anything. It's all thanks to our two year old." Just the other day at my cancer checkup (everything came out negative so 3 months down so far) my doctor was checking me over and remarked on the large bruise on my thigh. I told him yes that was care of my two year old because she was sitting in my lap and I told her no to something. I have the ugliest bruise on the side of my foot right now that makes me shake my head every time I look at it because it's just another one of the 'love taps' my "sweet girl" has given me. And this one is a kicker! So one of her new favorite things to do to me is as I am in the kitchen, for whatever reason, she likes to get on her little radio flyer scooting bike and ram me in the ankles while saying loudly "got ya!" Apparently this is highly entertaining fun for her at the moment.


Does anyone deal with this if you have a toddler right now? Or did you deal with anything like this when yours was a toddler? Did you survive it not permanently scarred? Is there hope for me? LOL...I know this is funny but I am at least half serious. My oldest, Madison, I have heard while Emma may be in the game room or in her room with her playing say, "Emma stop!" or "Emma don't do that!" Even while I'm groaning and running up the stairs to defuse whatever it is; I am also laughing and smiling inside at hearing my oldest say these things. Outside of Madison's medical issues and a few special needs type situations that I had to adapt to and figure out how to solve she was an incredibly even keeled toddler. At two she stopped taking naps, which I am very grateful that Emma still takes because it gives me a small 2-3 hour break from her constant antics, but Madison was always completely content playing with her toys and books all by herself. I remember how I used to ask her to come and watch a Disney movie with me or to come play with me. But she would just say no or later as her speech developed more she would say no thanks. She has always been very independent and I am so incredibly grateful to God for that.


Now Emma is also very independent but she still is a snuggle bug and reaches for me a lot too, which I absolutely adore! She has fully developed her own version of the 'puppy dog eyes' but for her it's not just the eyes. This child could possibly be a natural actress someday, I swear!! So when this girl wants something or has done something that has made me mad and I'm trying to ignore her. This child of mine will bring on the sorrowful eyes, spread her arms wide as to display she wants to give you a hug, purse her lips in a slight 'duck lips' look, and make a small fake sort of crying sound. If it ever happens when both my husband and I are together so that someone can record it I am DEFINITELY going to post it for all of you to see because OMG it is such a performance.


Even though this toddler of mine is making my body and mind ache right now. I can tell by her spirit and relentlessness that she is going to be a strong lady. And so despite all the pains I am going through right now I am blessed to see the bits of her personality already that are going to be so important for her to have in the future and I am excited to see them grow throughout the years. My husband enjoys remarking on how Emma and I are going to be battling as she gets older and especially during her teenage years. And he's probably right. She will most likely surpass me in height in her teens so our battles will probably have me looking up to her as they are going on but...she will learn who the master of the stand off is because she fell from my tree and that in order to beat me her facts or argument will have to outwit mine in order to win these bouts.


Hope everyone enjoyed this fun little story of my wild child this week. Have a fabulous week and God bless!


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